Too Much To Say

Most times, when I’m not posting some random sex thoughts, fucking or strength training, I’m pretty busy with being a number in the clog of human labor slaves. In my mind, I have so much to say about my general sexual perspectives, yet never enough time or frequent motivation to put it all down in words that make sense.

I am actual forcing myself to write this. If I don’t make the time, I’ll never vent out my neuro-energy and end up with a clogged and muddled mind. Which always promotes stressful cortisol levels.

Squash that.

I’m waiting for a new computer to arrive so I can get back to creating content, posting and renovating the site. Can’t do much of anything from the mobile version of WP. With that said, a nifty new iPad should do the job just fine.

In other ramblings, I’m starting to devalue the mainstream adult gay industry. Yea. Go figure that one. I’ve studied it a lot being that I have an intense sexual appetite. Lots of years studying the actors, lighting, media quality and film techniques and yet I’m still in a quandary about where I would potentially fit in. None of what they seem to stand for, or in what they do publicly, is any where near to my own mentality, virtues and values. Recently I’ve affirmed that most of the performers and their contracted studios are creating content with NO SOUL. In my novice opinion, that has to be the major issue with the industry’s product of quick, heartless intimacy displayed between soulless automatons.

To a certain degree, I definitely won’t be a part of all aspects of the industry. I can’t- unless I have some sort of creative control and that doesn’t happen with these larger cold studios. But where should I be exactly? A sexually hungry, willing and hung stud bro like myself.

Unless I am offered a potential starting gig with one of these “very rare” sophisticated studios, which actually are producing high grade quality films, I may, more than likely, end up creating my own productions. I’m no longer a fan of the Onlys and the Just4s. The App quality user interface is just awful and don’t get me started about the models.

Most major gay sex studios are just way too clean-cut for my taste. I wouldn’t be thrilled about any of their poor and stale production shoots. The only studios that actually showcase my innate sex-style would be Treasure Island Media and Sketchy Sex. For me, their type of studio work is more about present moment authentic sex experiences between horned up men and not just layers of scripted, bland smoke and mirrors.

I actually had an opportunity to interview with Treasure Island Media. I met with performer and casting rep. Kenny Host. He liked my look and what I had to give and ended up offering me a gig to fuck in a group scene some weeks later. I was fucking excited!

Kenny Host

But unfortunately ended up having to turn down the offer. It just wasn’t the most opportune time for me to shift careers that fast. Plus I knew deep inside I needed to get my physique a lot more in shape before I started slanging my dick and ass on camera. If I’m gonna do it, then do it large and at my absolute best potential. TIM has been the only studio that has taken the time and interest in me. I’ve submitted to other production studios I’m sure you’ve watched but I guess I wasn’t the right look for the time.

Another angle I’ve thought about are the types of people in the industry. I mean, can I even hang with their wild lifestyles? Probably not and nor would I have any interest. I’m in it for the art and advanced sex exploration of film making and not the extra, wacky, druggy and sometimes improper demeanors of some of these actors, production shoots, directors and gay events. Another reason to make sure I have some creative control over my brand and image.

Out of all the gay adult performers I’ve seen in action on screen, I’ve only met two in real life; Bi John Johnson a.k.a Gay Ace Rockwood and Daddy Adam Russo. I had the opportunity to smash Adam’s hairy ass real good a few years back. His hole felt amazing and I actually busted my nut in him much faster than I had hoped but it was a good fucking time regardless.

Ace, or JJ, I haven’t had the pleasure of being fucked by nor even a chance to suck that mega dick, but we’ve hung out once.

John Johnson

Still not enough to get a good feel for the industry players and I haven’t gotten a sense of what these people are like beyond the sex. That’s an aspect of this journey I’ve yet to decipher. I should probably meet more pornstars I guess. Size them up. Get in their heads a bit. They seem to be my tribe in a weird perverse way. The control group is small for me; almost nonexistent.

Motion of the Ocean

Peep My VidArt

Have you noticed the fleeting aspect of human sexuality? Toward any degree? Of course you have. If you haven’t you’re possibly too inexperienced to the workings of sex hormones. I make this statement due to half-a-lifetime of attempting to understand why the intense level changes of my libido vary so much.

Undoubtedly, I now know the inter-workings of basic human hormonal biomechanics to see a correlation to my curiosity. However, it has still boggled my horny mind how one minute I can want to fuck like it was the only thing that EVER mattered, and then, immediately after I bust my superior load, I get a feeling of “I’m glad that’s over,” mixed with, “That was the highest high and I’m on top of the fucking world!”

Such a strange and perplexing dichotomy. 

Regardless, I’m content on the fact that as long as I’m alive and healthy, this sex drive will probably never cease, as it’s a major force in human dynamics BUT it’ll definitely diminish, become even more internally regulated and, of course, evolve more as I get older. Oddly enough, I’m looking forward to it. Dads fuck better anyway, so I’m excited to see my new found sexual evolution and journey.